Attention Polarity Disorder

What is it that some of us desire but also fear?  Attention. I suspect that many of us crave it.  At work, we may want to be acknowledged – that our efforts and performance are ‘recognized’.  But, we don’t want to be the center of ‘attention’.  Recognition in front of a group of our peers is OK but, not in front of everybody. Isn’t that right?  Or, we might share our ‘opinions’ within a circle of like minded friends and enjoy the ‘attention’ when its listened to and valued but, there’s others we won’t truly share it with due to fear of  the possible negative ‘attention’ it might bring…

Participation within my attention polarity disorder has resulted in my simply not having committed myself wholly and completely.  On the one hand, I’ve made comments on various topics, on facebook or the Desteni forum, for example, and would enjoy the ‘attention’ if positive remarks were made to my post – or people “liked” it.  But, I haven’t really put myself ‘out there’ – writing myself to freedom and making vlogs – fearing that I might ‘expose’ my true self and my limitations.  Actually fearing expressing what I know I must express about my self and my world – fearing the possibilities of the ‘attention’ I could bring upon myself  by truly sharing myself in ‘public’.  Existing within and as back chat – knowing I have something to say and having ‘conversations’ with myself about how I should say it and, that might actually be worth hearing, then, not honoring my commitment to myself to do it, and justifying it, within my mind, with flimsy rationale and excuses.

The problem is, that I see this as one of the reasons why this world is in the shape that it’s in.  There’s too many of us out there that can talk a good game but, there’s not enough people standing up and taking a stand.  There’s too many of us that just fly under the radar, not wanting to get ‘attention’ by speaking out.  (My back chat asks:  What if it gets to your superiors at work?  How will your family react?)  Well, who the fuck really cares and, what difference does it make what someone else thinks?  Nothing in my world can change if I don’t first change my self.   And, it’s not realistic to consider that change can occur if not enough of us stand up and have our vote counted.  If I truly am One Vote for World Equality and an Equal Money System, there is no choice.  The way World Equality and the implementation of an Equal Money System will come to pass is through enough people standing up and publicly supporting it – getting the message ‘out there’.   Sure, there’s some that aren’t ready to hear the message but, there’s many who are ready and simply don’t realize it or haven’t heard it.  And, I must do my part to get the message ‘out there’.  After all, the system exists as it does due to my acceptances and allowances, too.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist within and as Attention Polarity Disorder.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself within and as the words Attention Polarity Disorder.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to abdicate my responsibility for spreading the message of Equality to others instead of taking responsibility for my self and expressing consistent support for all to exist in dignity.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to make excuses and rationalize lack of participation instead of standing, committing myself and, making my voice be heard for the principle of Equality.

It is inevitable that an Equal Money System will be implemented in the future.  But, the process can be sped up, once more people stand up to let their votes be heard.  Join us for discussions about Equality at Desteni’s website and, investigate an Equal Money System at the links below.


Equal Money System

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