At different points throughout my life, I had these unanswerable questions: What is my purpose in life? Why am I here? Is there a purpose to my being here? Who am I – really? I always supposed that everyone else had the same questions and, due to the influences of family, education and religion, I had bought into the idea of a God that created me in his image and likeness and, hoped that, at some point, I would have this realization that would make sense of it all.
When I was 11 years old, I had an experience where I just KNEW that God had intervened and saved my life, which gave me this sense that He had a purpose for me. Before crossing what was usually a busy street, one night, I had looked both ways – didn’t see any oncoming cars – and took off running to get to the other side. I got to the middle of the street and, wham, stopped in my tracks, and this car went zooming by about a foot in front of me. I hadn’t seen it come over the top of the hill just a little ways from where I was crossing – and it was going really fast. I had never been so scared before, realizing that just one more step and I would have been killed. Shaken, I kept asking myself over and over: “what made me stop?” I hadn’t seen the car. I didn’t make a conscious decision to stop. Was it Instinct? Did I see it out of the corner of my eye and stop without thinking? I couldn’t explain it. I decided that it must have been God – that God had intervened so; He must have some purpose for my life.
The experience didn’t make me a religious person, though. Oh, I went to church, dutifully, every Sunday, was an altar boy and participated but, honestly, was more interested in looking around to see what girls were there. Other than the occasional Christmas or Easter services to placate family, I quit going to church shortly after moving out of my parent’s house, disillusioned with the rituals of Catholicism and organized religion. I never bought into all the bible stories – especially all of the killing in the Old Testament – and never understood how an all loving, all powerful and merciful God, could create a place like Hell, and banish his creations to everlasting pain and suffering. But, I still carried this idea in the back of my mind that there was some kind of divine being that had ‘saved’ me for some purpose.
The next 30 years of my life were busy – devoted to raising kids – trying to be a ‘good’ parent – and working / making a living. Our youngest was probably in middle school when we got access to the internet and, a whole new world opened up and I found myself with access to information, ideas, beliefs, opinions and perspectives outside of the traditional media. Then, 9/11 and my mother in-law’s sudden death a couple of months after that, got me questioning everything about our world and about my own personal beliefs. I still wanted to believe in God and having a divine purpose for being here. I studied various religions, again, trying to see if any of them made sense. I read some of the Conversations with God books, along with Tolle, Chopra, and others. Most of the new age, light and love stuff seemed like non-sense. I mean, if ‘love’ was ‘the answer’, surely it would have worked by now. I didn’t become obsessed with conspiracy theories but, I gave them a lot of attention, as they certainly exposed the greed and corruption of our world’s financial and political systems. I was pretty much all over the place looking for answers – Ramtha didn’t have them, The Secret and the Law of Attraction didn’t have them, Thoth didn’t have them, nobody seemed to have any answers that rang true within me. I had been reading the channelings about the galactic federation, stuff about Indigo and Crystal children and, had run across David Icke and had been listening to his theories and watching some of his videos when, after watching one of his videos about his Reptilian theories on YouTube late one night, I noticed several videos in the suggestions column with this same young girl shown in the thumbnail, with titles that included Reptilians, Atlanteans, and Sirians, and clicked on one of them.
That was the first time I watched a Desteni Productions video – a little over 4 years ago. I went on to watch 6 or 7 more that night and, over the next few days, found the Desteni website and forum and, watched a lot more videos and started reading some of the material. That was it. I knew my search was over. After years of looking for answers that made sense, I had finally run across a group of people that actually had a common sense perspective toward the problems of this world and, were committed to the principle of equality for all, as one, as equals. And, after all that time looking for answers outside of myself, here, finally, was someone that pointed out that all of the answers I’d been looking for, I’d find within myself – through facing my self in self-honesty, doing self-forgiveness for all I’ve accepted and allowed to exist in this world, and then self-corrective application to actually change self, and become the directive principle in my life. This journey – this process of self-honesty – is a commitment to self – a becoming of self – a giving of self to self, through self-forgiveness.
I was able to hear the Desteni Message not only because I was ‘ready’ to hear it but, because it is real common sense. I was tired of all of the bullshit systems that could only offer faith, hope and love as their guiding principles, while offering no real solutions to the problems existent in today’s world, abdicating their responsibility to Life to a make-believe being. Then, when Desteni proposed an Equal Money System as a solution to provide the means to guarantee that all can live a dignified life, I knew that I could have no greater purpose in life, than to dedicate myself to support its implementation as what’s Best for All.
We are the creators of our world and, from a very young age, all of us start building ourselves a box in our mind, where we define ourselves as who we are as our egos, through pre-programmed beliefs and behaviors and the accumulation of thoughts, feelings, emotions and opinions from our memories and experiences. The problem is that we truly believe that the box is real – that that’s who we really are. And, we’re afraid to step out of that box and free ourselves from our enslavement to our own thoughts and beliefs. We see ourselves as too small and insignificant to impact change in this world, while, on a daily basis, we bear witness to atrocities such as war, starvation, poverty and abuse existent in our world. Investigate Desteni, and the Equal Money System. It is possible for each of us to become the change we want to see in this world, and create a world in which our children and grandchildren can live in harmony with all life, as All, as One, as Equals.