As I was deciding what to write about tonight, I suddenly became very tired… This sense of tiredness seemed to engulf me. Not just a ‘little’ tired, either. It’s one of those ‘can’t hold my eyes open’ kind of tired. The thing is, I know it’s bullshit. It’s my mind’s way of throwing an obstacle in front of me to keep me from writing. See, our minds don’t want us to become the directive principle in our lives. And, when we start to take control, it will fuck with us. It will do the same thing sometimes when I’m reading or watching a video. My eyelids will get heavy and hard to hold open and I’ll start yawning and sometimes, will even start to doze off. The mind is sneaky that way – and I know it’s the mind’s defense mechanisms kicking in, because it doesn’t want me to change. I might have to get up and move around a bit but, focusing on my breathing will get me past it.
Some might say bullshit to the idea that our mind will play tricks on us. But, we are part of the mind consciousness system collective and, that pre-programming/control is quite extensive. If you have any doubts at all, please explain all of the weird, random thoughts that simply pop in and out of these heads of ours. Seriously, if you pay any attention at all to your thoughts, you will begin to realize that there’s a lot of thoughts coming in from you don’t know where… And, most of them are simply distractions – whose purpose is to keep us preoccupied so we don’t question this reality/existence. Our minds are addicted to the energy these thoughts generate so, if/when we decide to be the directive principal in our life, it (our mind) will play tricks on us.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have a thought tell me that I am tired.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate in the thought that I am tired.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe the thought that I am tired.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that tiredness exists.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing my mind as consciousness to direct and distract me instead of me directing myself in breath.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing my mind to influence/control me to doze off while reading or watching videos or writing when my physical body was not extremely tired or fatigued, instead of being aware of myself, in breath, in each moment, directing myself to do what needs to be done.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist in back chat in my mind, judging my self-forgiveness statements as inferior to others instead of stopping those thoughts in the realization that each and every self-forgiveness statement is done as and for each individual.
When and as I see myself limiting myself by allowing mind possessions of tiredness, I stop and I breathe. I realize that this is a pattern that has developed over many years and I am patient with myself within this process where I commit myself to prepare myself to become a co-creator of a world that’s best for all.