In facing the postponement character through and as distractions within and as myself, I recognized yet another character of postponement: the Fear of Failure character. This character will rear its ugly head on a regular basis, if allowed, and can cause one to fail at something before he/she ever even attempts it. Thus:
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear failure.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear failing at something/anything before I even started, which I could only do in my mind, through participating in thoughts and/or backchat, creating possible scenarios and excuses for failure in my mind then, through self-judgment or lack of self-confidence, choosing the mind-scenario of failure.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to postpone starting a project because I had participated within thoughts of failure, defining failure as not being able to come up with results that would validate me or my performance.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to postpone facing myself in identifying different characters I have created and manifested for and as myself due to this fear of failure character, wherein I participate in thoughts and backchat that I won’t be able to do it as well as it should be done or, as well as others do it, thereby making me a failure at it, instead of realizing that it really has nothing to do with anyone but me and that I simply need to do it.
I forgive myself for ever having accepted or allowed myself to fear failure or, define myself as a failure or, believe that I was/am a failure, instead of realizing that the fear wasn’t/isn’t real – only able to exist in my mind – and that the only real failure one can experience is in allowing the fear to prevent self from attempting whatever it is that he/she fears failing.
I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to believe that I was a failure at anything or, that I could be a failure or, that I might fail at something, without first self-honestly considering that: I am not a failure just because I didn’t achieve the outcome that I had anticipated or might have preferred but, that I only would have failed if I believed the thought and didn’t try at all.
When and as I see myself going into this fear of failure character, I stop. I breathe. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate within and as this character of my past, and I use this moment as an opportunity to look within myself to identify and delete the memory that triggered this pattern in my mind.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to, in grammar school, fear failing at doing things in front of everyone in class because of the fear of getting laughed at or teased by classmates if I messed up, to the point that I feared being the center of attention and allowed this fear to grow within and as me to the point that it manifested as a fear of speaking/performing by myself in front of a group of people.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed the fear of speaking/performing by myself in front of a group of people to become part of my self-definition even though I never experienced anything that validated that fear, instead of realizing that the fear wasn’t real and that I had created that fear and it ONLY existed in my mind.
When/as this fear of failure/speaking in front of groups arises within me, I stop and I breathe, and I realize that this fear I defined myself within and as was of my mind’s creation. I forgive myself for the thought/memory that triggered the fear and take this opportunity to reverse the moment from the mirror in my mind and direct myself say what I need to say in breath.
I commit myself to be patient with myself as I walk this process and continue to encounter these characters that I have created for myself in my mind throughout my life, realizing that through self-honest introspection, self-forgiveness, and self-corrective application, I will delete these characters one by one and free myself of these burdens I have placed upon myself, as I prepare myself to become a co-creator of a world that’s best for all.
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