Day 27: Doing Things My Way

At work over the years, we have established time-tested ways of ‘doing things’. So, when training someone, I like to have an experienced person training that can explain the steps of whatever task it is, to the new person, so there is a complete understanding of all the steps. There’s no doubt that some repetitive tasks can be done differently but, we teach people how to do them a certain way because we’ve tried just about every possible method to do what we do and, while the newer person might have an idea to try, we probably aren’t doing it that way because it’s simply not as efficient as the way we are currently doing it, and I have to remind the less experienced that there is a reason for every step in the process – they’ve been thought out and worked through time and time again so, we need to stick to the procedures and not deviate without prior discussion. However, I also know that sometimes a new set of eyes will see things differently so, I still encourage staff to question our methods and it’s because of their input that we’ve been able to adapt to ‘do more with less’ over the years. The workload has increased year after year while the staffing levels have stayed the same so, we can’t afford to waste time or effort.

Art by Joe Kou

I have a tendency to approach repetitive tasks at home/outside of work similar to how I approach tasks at work – trying different methods until I find the process that just seems to ‘fit’ whatever it is I’m doing or have to do – until I’m comfortable that I can accomplish whatever it is I have to do with the least amount of effort in the shortest time. I also have had this tendency to believe that my way is the best way…    Thus,

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe that ‘my way’ of doing things is the best way and the way that everyone else should do them.

I forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to question how others (partner/children/siblings) would do some things – like household chores – because they might do those things different than I might do them, even though the end result was all that really mattered.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to not realize that, outside of my work responsibilities, it’s not necessary for me to put my two cents in about the way others choose to do things – unless I’m asked – because it comes across as being controlling.

I forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to place emphasis and value on being ‘right’ and doing things right instead of realizing that placing value on being right was simply to feed my ego.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see, realize and understand that I have participated within and as this “being right” character for most of my life, building up my own ego and seeing myself as better than others because of this belief I had that I could see better ways to do things than others.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire to control how others would do things as a way to boost my ego by reinforcing the idea in my mind that doing things my way is/was the best way.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have a superior attitude towards others when questioning them as to why they did something the way they did it or, in asking them if they had ever considered doing it differently – such as the way I would do it.

While I have been guilty of these things countless times, there have been occasions where I questioned another about the way they did something simply out of curiosity to understand their rationale behind the process – as a learning opportunity – but, due to my proclivity for questioning from a critical viewpoint, it was still interpreted as controlling – deservedly so…

I forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to physically react by clenching my jaw and glaring at my children/siblings when they would deliberately not do something ‘my way’ because they knew they’d get a reaction out of me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react to someone else’s decision on the method they chose to accomplish a task – just because it was different from how I would have done it.

When and as I see myself wanting to interject my idea as to how something should be done I stop, and I breathe, and I realize that my way of doing things isn’t the ONLY way to do things and that it isn’t necessary for me to get involved unless it directly impacts me and, that if it does, I commit myself to making myself available for input to reach an outcome that’s best for all.

I realize that within the principle of equality, that there is no need for any one person to wield control over another in any way, as each of us will dedicate ourselves to only bring to fruition those processes that are best for all.


Recommended reading:  the Journey to Life blogs, especially:   Creation’s Journey to Life ,  Heaven’s Journey to Life & Earth’s Journey to Life, among the many blogs listed, that are written by others dedicated to equality and are walking this journey.

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