Day 32 – Over and Over

I’m recognizing this re-occurring pattern where I – apparently – need to hear the same message over – and over – and over – then over again – not necessarily before I ‘get’ it but, before I walk the point for real. Whether it’s in our pre-programming or an accumulation of self-conditioning, I have had this tendency to judge and compare myself to the ideal characteristics, results or behavior for whatever topic is at the forefront of my attention at a given moment. In looking at this process of self-change, I have an idea as to the kind of person I want to become in the process of creating a world that is best for all and, even though I know that this will take me years to walk, I have consistently compared myself to where/who I want to be/become, instead of simply taking one step at a time, recognizing andgiving myself credit for each step taken – no matter how small or insignificant it may seem – simply because I took the step.
Emancipate YourselfI was reminded of this – again – recently, while listening to yet another outstanding interview in the Life Review series available through EQAFE, “Defined by a Moment” , in discussing how to approach success – setting an aim for oneself, then to basically celebrate all of the small successes along the way – making every point, task, relationship or assignment a point of success. Too often, we judge our progress in comparison to where we are in relation to the end goal – our ultimate aim (which is still a long way away) – instead of recognizing and giving ourselves credit for even a slight movement in theright directions . Basically, we need to remember that: if progress is/can be measured in baby steps, then celebrate the progress made in those baby steps.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge and compare myself to where I want to be in relation to the ‘big picture’ instead of remembering to recognize and take credit for the small accomplishments along the way.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to become overwhelmed by the magnitude of this process of self change, instead of keeping it in perspective – I am the result of the accumulation of many thousands of decisions over a long period of time so I must be patient with myself and allow myself time to change.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to compare my perception of ‘where I am’ in this process of self change in relation to others who are within their process, always assuming that, within the backchat in my mind, that I am not where I should be – that I am behind – that I’m not as good as… – instead of taking into account that every person’s process, while similar, is unique to eachindividual.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be critical of myself for getting behind or, not spending enough time on certain things, then beating myself up about it – in my mind – often creating a cycle where I don’t do anything – because I’m so far behind I can’t get caught up to where I need to be – instead of taking one baby step at a time, looking at points as they come up and addressing them right then with self-forgiveness and self-correction, then recognizing and giving myself credit for the progress and change directed in the moment.
When and as I see myself beginning to judge and compare where I am in this process of self change in relation to others or some definition I have in my mind, I stop and I breathe and I ground myself, and I remind myself that my process of self change is unique to me and cannot be judged in comparison to anyone else’s progress, and to identify/recognize and celebrate the small successes along the way.

 

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